If I had a nickel for every time in my life someone told me to 'lighten up' -- that's right, I'd be filthy rich and too busy enjoying it to be sitting here typing this whinepost.
But here's the thing: there are some traits that stick with us, no matter how long we've been on the self-help treadmill. The sooner I figured out which of those things are baked deep into my soul, the sooner I could stop trying to change me.
So. I'm the opposite of light-hearted most of the time. Since I was an Itty Bitty, my poor head has dwelled on the morose, the tragic, the ironic. I think that's why I liked talking to animals more than people. Thank goodness for those pastures down the street from where I grew up.
Seems that along the way I developed a penchant for connecting to people with a bit more helium. Guess that was a survival technique. Works well, too, for a time. Then, there always comes the point when I hear what I predicted at first meeting these buoyant souls: "Lighten up."
Sigh.
So, I've decided to start collecting a fee for the privilege of uttering that directive in my direction.
If you feel a need to plead with me to "lighten up," I recommend you let me know in advance, so I can send your invoice right away. That way you can work the expense into your budget, because like any other toll, you'll be expected to pay it at every use.
And it's gonna cost ya.
Next, I'm going to consider charging an additional tax for those times when I actually take your advice. There really is no such thing as "free" in this existence, and I'm thinking it's time for me to get mine.
But here's the thing: there are some traits that stick with us, no matter how long we've been on the self-help treadmill. The sooner I figured out which of those things are baked deep into my soul, the sooner I could stop trying to change me.
So. I'm the opposite of light-hearted most of the time. Since I was an Itty Bitty, my poor head has dwelled on the morose, the tragic, the ironic. I think that's why I liked talking to animals more than people. Thank goodness for those pastures down the street from where I grew up.
Seems that along the way I developed a penchant for connecting to people with a bit more helium. Guess that was a survival technique. Works well, too, for a time. Then, there always comes the point when I hear what I predicted at first meeting these buoyant souls: "Lighten up."
Sigh.
So, I've decided to start collecting a fee for the privilege of uttering that directive in my direction.
If you feel a need to plead with me to "lighten up," I recommend you let me know in advance, so I can send your invoice right away. That way you can work the expense into your budget, because like any other toll, you'll be expected to pay it at every use.
And it's gonna cost ya.
Next, I'm going to consider charging an additional tax for those times when I actually take your advice. There really is no such thing as "free" in this existence, and I'm thinking it's time for me to get mine.
