I'm pretty sure that if we all did everything "right," there would be no child born into any household that wasn't fully financially afloat.
So much for that pie in the sky.
It comes up from time to time, the notion that access to infertility treatment should be just as much a "right" as access to other things, like therapies to quell life-threatening conditions.
In all these years of talking about it and listening to others, I've decided the arguments are usually circular. Maybe we need to redefine "right".
Dear Abby's latest incarnation recently vented her 'negative gut reaction' toward a reader's query about throwing a fertility treatment fundraiser. Needless to say, the TTC Crowd's reaction was quick. Fortunately, the charge was led by Melissa Ford, who shed a little light on the columnist's missed opportunity to help the inquiring reader. Melissa offered well-founded points -- that aside from the necessarily judgmental quagmire of healthcare access and priorities, other family-building adventures, like adoption, cost a heap, too, Abby.
Then Padmini Mangunta put a little ethics spin on the discussion over at BeliefNet. Her open-ended questions -- is there a line that infertility patients cross in their expectations? -- demonstrate an intention for harmony and understanding, a wise stance for any person who hasn't yet started down the baby-making path. Padmini lost me for just a trace when she wrote "God-willing, I very much hope to have a family one day."
Shades of those old online discussions about the pain caused by using such references to juxtapose those with and those without children. In effect, if God wills you have children, what's up with those who don't get their heart's desire?
On a somewhat related note, Michele Kennon, who is the Dallas Infertility & Miscarriage Examiner wrote on her more personal blog, The Squawkery "Is it possible to be on G-d's bad side?" A lot of women I know would answer with a resounding 'absolutely' at certain times in their life.
So back we come to the whole notion of doing things "right" -- whether that's in terms of bringing new life into the world or choosing whole wheat over bleached flour.
And the circle just goes on.
So much for that pie in the sky.
It comes up from time to time, the notion that access to infertility treatment should be just as much a "right" as access to other things, like therapies to quell life-threatening conditions.
In all these years of talking about it and listening to others, I've decided the arguments are usually circular. Maybe we need to redefine "right".
Dear Abby's latest incarnation recently vented her 'negative gut reaction' toward a reader's query about throwing a fertility treatment fundraiser. Needless to say, the TTC Crowd's reaction was quick. Fortunately, the charge was led by Melissa Ford, who shed a little light on the columnist's missed opportunity to help the inquiring reader. Melissa offered well-founded points -- that aside from the necessarily judgmental quagmire of healthcare access and priorities, other family-building adventures, like adoption, cost a heap, too, Abby.
Then Padmini Mangunta put a little ethics spin on the discussion over at BeliefNet. Her open-ended questions -- is there a line that infertility patients cross in their expectations? -- demonstrate an intention for harmony and understanding, a wise stance for any person who hasn't yet started down the baby-making path. Padmini lost me for just a trace when she wrote "God-willing, I very much hope to have a family one day."
Shades of those old online discussions about the pain caused by using such references to juxtapose those with and those without children. In effect, if God wills you have children, what's up with those who don't get their heart's desire?
On a somewhat related note, Michele Kennon, who is the Dallas Infertility & Miscarriage Examiner wrote on her more personal blog, The Squawkery "Is it possible to be on G-d's bad side?" A lot of women I know would answer with a resounding 'absolutely' at certain times in their life.
So back we come to the whole notion of doing things "right" -- whether that's in terms of bringing new life into the world or choosing whole wheat over bleached flour.
And the circle just goes on.
Hi there,
Thanks for your mention of Everyday Ethics, and for your understanding that as a woman who hasn’t yet set down the family way (just yet) I ask these questions not to harm, but to understand. I certainly have no answers! And, I appreciate your feedback on my “God-willing” comment…I can see now how that could be taken negatively, and how it was a rather careless (though not malicious) comment on my part.
Thanks again!
Posted by: Padmini Mangunta | August 19, 2009 at 11:41 AM